I can’t lie…I haven’t been the best Ellen fan lately. My admiration for her hasn’t wavered. She’ll always be a shining beacon of what is good in this world. But, even though she’s on television more than ever nowadays, I rarely get to tune in. They only broadcast her talk show when I’m at work over here. Also, I just don’t care about American Idol anymore. I don’t doubt that she’s making it ten times more watchable. But, I don’t think I could get enthused about Idol nowadays even if My Mom were the fourth judge. I think it’s because I rarely agree with who wins. Adam Lambert losing last year was kind of a last straw type thing for me. No offense to the perfectly adorable Kris Allen. But, backing the more talented losing horse every year just shreds my nerves.
In this way, I feel like I’m not being a very good fan. I can’t be a completeist with all of her appearances. Her very omnipresence makes it too difficult.
However, I still relish the occasional clip from her show now and then. Ellen is just as easy to love in small, snackable bits. It always feels like I’m falling in love with her comedy again for the first time. That’s why today’s great thing is:
127. Ellen Demonstrating The Hawaii Chair
The Hawaii chair is one of those television offer-type products. It can cost well over three hundred bucks and it looks like a fairly uncomfortable office chair. One website that is shilling a version of the product describes it as a: “MULTI SPEED ELECTRICALLY DRIVEN MASSAGE CHAIR, 3 SIZES AVAILABLE
PUT YOURSELF IN SYNC WITH NATURE’S CYCLICAL RHYTHMS”! Yes…Earth’s natural, vomit-inducing rhythms… The benefits of sitting in such a chair and allowing yourself to be jerked around in it are supposed to be in the building your core abdominal strength…you know, like Pilates for people without gym memberships.
MSNBC reviews the chair here: Product Tested Though this is a serious product review about The Hawaii Chair’s perceived health benefits (or lack thereof), the video clip that is embedded is still side-splittingly funny. There’s just no way to sit on this chair, while it’s in ‘on’ mode, and maintain your dignity, it seems.
Still, nobody can point out the inanity of this product better than Ellen can in her silly, fun-loving way. Watch her and adore:
The chair has made a few subsequent appearances. (I think we can all agree that it has the necessary appeal to become a recurring prop).
Here Ellen invites some lucky audience members to enjoy the ‘workout’ during the show. Look how excited the guests are as they run down. I know it’s because they’re suddenly on teevee, but let’s just pretend that it’s all for the opportunity to use the Hawaii Chair:
Lastly, here is Ellen surprising Rob Lowe with a Hawaii Chair:
It seems that no matter who is inhabiting the Hawaii Chair, all chair-sitters just wind up with their legs to the side, being relentlessly pushed and bullied up against those rather uncomfortable looking blocky arms. NASA should use these to teach about motion sickness.
The Hawaii Chair is also sometimes known as the Hula Chair…or is that a competing brand? Honestly, I couldn’t even be bothered to check that info out…what with my midsection being all static here in my regular chair. I feel sluggish and not muscular (torsally speaking).
For extra bonus fun, here’s a parody ad for The Snuggie. Jack Douglass (who is responsible for this) has a few doozies on his YouTube page:
Oh, one last thing. About American Idol–make no mistake, Crystal Bowersox should win. I don’t watch, but I still have an opinion.