Our Underwater Ally

Since this is the one hundredth entry to this blog o’delights, I figure that this one better be pretty big.  And, as I’ve already covered blue whales AND Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in these cyber-pages , what’s left that can amount to the gargantuan challenge?  What about one of my longtime favorite mythic creatures?  Oh yeah.  Try Nessie on for size:

100.  The Loch Ness Monster

As a kid who loved loved loved dinosaurs when I was growing up, Nessie always held a special place in my heart.  To this day I want to believe that there is a  plesiosaur in Loch Ness.  A plesiosaur best fits the description that most Loch Ness monster enthusiasts picture:


https://i1.wp.com/www.zmescience.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/plesiosaur1.jpg

Plesiosaur

Nessie, was first sighted in 565 AD when it was written that St. Columba encountered a sea creature in the massive loch.  Since then, hundreds of reports have been filed.  Unfortunately for cryptozoologists, most have been disproved as hoaxes.  Sigh…still, it’s cool to think that there might be a surviving family of giant prehistoric beasts up in Scotland…kind of like the Anastasia Romanovs of monsters.  I should, at this point, geekily point out that whilst these creatures lived in the same period as the dinosaurs, they are not technically defined as such.  They are referred to as Mesozoic reptiles.

Besides the obvious resemblance, the fact that fossilized remains of plesiosaurs were found and identified in the UK region only fuel the fire of the Nessie=plesiosaur theory.

Again, buzzkills are quick to point out that there are a multitude of reasons that disqualify the Nessie=plesiosaur theory:

-The time line of the creation of the lake/extinction of the animal don’t overlap

-The water’s too cold for a cold-blooded reptile

-A plesiosaur would have to surface several times a day, providing ample opportunity for spectators to be granted a peek.

Stop yucking my yum, science!!!

https://i1.wp.com/greencanticle.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/colm-cille.JPG

All hail Pope Nessie!

Still, whether Nessie is down there or not…even thinking of the diving teams going down into that Loch sends a chill up my spine.  The murky, freezing cold depths where there ARE reputedly giant eels amongst other scary aquatic life.  I mean, it’s a big-ass, cold, fog covered lake in a remote and mountainous area of Scotland.  Imagine diving down there.  Eek!  You can probably barely see two feet in front of you.  That gives ample ‘sneaking’ distance to creatures that live to freak you the hell out.

I also like to think about the accredited scientists that might be still hunting Nessie.  Getting laughed at by the local pub-patrons…  Sure the Aberdeen fans at The Old North Inn might be ridiculing him now, but Professor Hamish MacPhee will have the last laugh when he finally uncovers irrefutable proof of the existence of history’s most sought after beast!  Then maybe that girl at the office will notice him…

Along these lines, one of the most famous Nessie-hunters, Robert Rines, has officially retired.  Sad, yes–but after 30 years in the game AND capturing that famous ‘flipper’ picture–I guess the guy deserves a break.  Retiring Nessie Hunter article:  WWII Vet calls it a day…

https://i1.wp.com/www.scottish-crafts.co.uk/gallery/nessie6.gif

The flipper...

Speaking of recent events in the world of all that is The Loch Ness monster, there was a most recent sighting (August 2008) via Google Earth.  This report, which contains the quotes:  “Veteran American monster hunter Bob Rines thinks environmental conditions in the Highland loch have changed and can no longer sustain the elusive reptile.” and “Gary Campbell, of the monster’s official fan club, said: “I’m concerned. There have been none of the normal sightings that verify that Nessie and her family are still alive and well”, reminds me of the clip from Napoleon Dynamite wherein he details the adventures of our ‘underwater ally’ as his classroom report.

Here’s the full article:  Nessie on satellite

But, perhaps the best link to click in this blog entry is this one here, which is to Nessie’s official homepage.  nessie.co.uk

The coolest thing about this page is the opportunity it presents you to ‘contact Nessie’ via e-mail.

“What would that go like?”,  you might be wondering.  What would I actually say to Nessie given the exciting opportunity to communicate with her?  Well, here’s my recent correspondence.  Maybe it will inspire you to get in touch as well.

Dear Nessie,

I think you’re a big dinosaur.  Do you have a Scottish accent?  Let’s be friends.  Can I ride on your back?

Love,

Kate McCabe

Manchester

If I get a response, I’ll update this blog!

No tribute to Nessie would be complete without mentioning the ‘tree fiddy’ bit from South Park.  Chef’s parents, who–inexplicably–live in Scotland describe their encounter with Nessie.  Enjoy:

Long live Nessie!  Also, word up to Ogopogo, the OTHER lake monster.

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