Roasted Animals

I’d probably update this blog daily if it weren’t for the existence of today’s great thing (and others of its ilk).   I hope you know that it’s only because I’m out researching/enjoying things that are great.  It’s not because I’m a big movie-going, T.V.-watching, comic-reading, snack-eating, video-game-playing sloth.

https://i0.wp.com/www.maniacworld.com/Alfa-Romeo-Sloth.jpg

Not me.

Truthfully though, if I wasn’t so in love with other people’s cool shit, I’d probably be ten times more productive.  But what are you going to do…I’m only human.  I need to live!  I need to see “Step-brothers” and eat more Ho-Hos!  If you cut me do I not bleed?  If you put a film magazine in front of me do I not read it cover to cover instead of focusing on my work?  Some people are born into greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them.  Me?  I just am completely distracted by all the greatness around me.

There are at least four reasons why I love “Fuck You, Penguin”.

(today’s great thing)

72.  http://www.fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com

1. It’s updated regularly.  This is a website is one that I can rely on for daily distraction at work.  That’s better than what I can produce here on ILTTAG.

2.  It has cute animals.  Even without the hilarious and eviscerating commentary, it’s a worthwhile website for its photo gallery.  Animals are fun to look at.

3.  The ‘Fuck You, Penguin Tip-line.  Audience participation!

3. Most importantly, is its mastery of the ridiculous.  The following is straight off the page:

https://i1.wp.com/imgwtf.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/anteaters-335x450.jpg

starting it...

Apparently this photo has been floating around the internet for some time, presumably under the assumption that Fuck You, Penguin would rise to internet dominance and come looking for the anteater. Well, this douchebag’s suspicions were dead on, because clearly he thinks he’s making heads turn. I mean, seriously, Anteater, what’s with the pose? Are you in a sports montage? Or are you mid-clap in an (undoubtedly lame) rendition of “Hey Jude”? You know what, who gives a shit? At least I pick food that doesn’t involve sticking my tongue into the ground, you dirty son of a bitch.

Fuck me, anteater? No no, FUCK YOU.

If you haven’t already clicked over to the site to check it out, do so now.

fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com

Try as I might, I can’t find out who authors this blog.  Does anyone know?   Is he/she protecting their identity for fear of reprisal from the animal kingdom?  Probably.  Still, I’d like to name-check them here.  Thanks also to my pal Ari for recommending the site.

My dream for this website is that its popularity will grow until it gets its own television show–kind of a  Fuck You, David Attenborough.  This show’s presenter wouldn’t gape in awe and fawn all over all creatures great and small as the fabled British presenter does.  He’d heckle the shit out of them.

https://i0.wp.com/img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/05/attenbghBBC310506_228x282.jpg

Pull my finger, lemur!

Won’t anyone take my ideas seriously?!

Anyway, sorry today’s entry is so shoddily short.  I need to leave work so I can get to the end of my X-Men Legends videogame.

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1 Comment

Filed under comedy, Nature, website

One response to “Roasted Animals

  1. fabio

    Hello,

    I like reading about funny, different things, that’s why your blog.

    However, I think that any post that includes sloths (pictures of) there should be a warning post before you can read on.

    They are spooky looking and there is something not quite right about them. They scare alot of people and statistically can make people vomit just by looking at them. So next time, please, think of your readers.

    Many thanks
    Fabio

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