The Great Escape

I can’t wait until I’m in a position where I can have a pet.  I’m more of a dog person really, but over the years I’ve grown to appreciate cats.  My sister had a lovely tortoise-shell cat named Scooty a.k.a. Muffin and she was the best.  Really, you couldn’t meet a sweeter little kitty.  She was the type of cat that would greet you at the door when you came home–very social.  So, thanks to Scooty Muffin–God rest her kitty soul– I’m convinced.  Cats may not be the most consistent animals out there, but they are worth the gamble.  I’m at a stage now where in a perfect world where I don’t have a prefurnished apartment and I have enough money to afford the necessities for them, I’d like to have a both a cat and a dog.

The best way to do it, in my opinion, is to march right down to the local animal shelter and start the search there.  There’s always tons of adorable options like this goofball:


Or, if you’re looking for a cat, you could take home this little weirdo:


Lady Mewington of Fairport
Lady Mewington of Fairport

Or, maybe you’re in the market for something a bit bigger.  Why not take home this lovely lady?

Found rummaging through old pizza boxes in Brooklyn...
Found rummaging through old pizza boxes in Brooklyn…

The point is, there are usually some quality pets you can get for a relatively inexpensive donation at local shelters.  Growing up, both of my dogs were second-hand and they were fan-fricking-tastic. (R.I.P. Wolfie and Duchess).

Still, you should take careful consideration of which lucky pet you are going to adopt..  You should really hang out with the animal for a half of an hour or so before you decide to take it home with you.  Give it a test walk or if it’s a cat, ask for a formal introduction.  Maybe though, just ask if there’s a wee room where you can let it out of it’s cage.  Don’t, under any circumstances, ever take it outside on a leash.  Cats and leashes go together like Moby and Ted Nugent.  It’s just a bad idea.  Today’s great thing is one of my favorite videos available on the web and it serves as a powerful argument to this effect. 

26. Pinky, Pet of the Week

Go ahead and view the infamous clip.  It’s a kind of local television spot for a featured pet at the local shelter.  Good intentions go terribly awry.



More than just hatred of the leash, I think Pinky had a real thirst for freedom.  Legend has it that he totally made a break for it after shooting this public service announcement and was never heard from again.  (Really!)

I can’t imagine why.  The Placer County Animal Shelter in the sunny state of California looks like an OK place for an animal to remain clean and well fed.  Here’s the website.  Placer

Some beasts just can’t be caged.  Current pets of the week at Placer County include lovely kitties Maryjo and Lorraine.  I can’t stress enough how tickled I am when pets are given common human names.  My friend Paul has a cat named ‘Dave’ and my other friend Jason has a cat named ‘Joan’.  Hilarious.  When I get one, I’m going to call it something like ‘Susan’ or ‘Maude’.  Why they named this cat “Pinky”, I just can’t say.  To state the obvious, it’s an ORANGE tabby.  I would’ve called him Keith or Chazz.

Go back and watch the clip again.  This time, look out for and try to appreciate the shelter employees’ attempts to maintain their cool in a funny ‘he’s not normally like this’ sort of way.  I especially like when the handler says ‘settle down, bud’. 

Only after the cat has thrashed around like a shark on a fishing line does the situation become clearer.  There is, finally, the moment of realization that the situation is desperate enough to warrant a ‘catch pole’.


The right tool for the right job...
The right tool for the right job…


 And I don’t know what the hell the woman with the cardboard cat carrier thinks she’s going to do.  Christ, woman…Pinky is not having it.  No box can contain him.  She dances around him a little bit trying to kind of blanket him with it.  Useless.  I like it when she realizes her futility and gets the hell out of there. 

Then…the groin attack…twice.  Damn, that cat is ruthless.  Finally, his cool demeanor cracked, the unfortunate Pinky handler mutters “son of a bitch” even if he is polite enough to recover his graces with “excuse my language”.

What follows is a charming little reenactment that someone took the time to post on youtube.  Pretty spot-on in regards to its historical accuracy… A worthy time-waster.

One response to “The Great Escape”

  1. I feel like taking home the little weirdo that is Lady Mewington. Do you have any details please?

    This post made me laugh, and nearly pee my pants, I am at work so not good! Please stop being sooo funny.

    By the way Mon, I am the number one foam wearing big finger!

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