Category Archives: website

Furry Vengeance

Much hullabaloo has been made of the cat bin lady.  If the kerfuffle has not made its way to wherever you’re reading this blog post from, let me summarise the turn of events for you:

Here in England, Coventry to be precise, a woman was captured on CCTV, first petting a friendly neighborhood cat that had approached her and then suddenly and swiftly decided that it would be ‘funny’ to open up a nearby trash bin and chuck it in.  The woman then merrily walks on.  Luckily, the cat was discovered by its owners 15 hours later when, having grown worried about its whereabouts,  they investigated the CCTV footage from near their house.

Here, in all its glory, is the little bit of animal abuse heard round the world:

It’s strange to watch this clip because the first thing that comes to mind, besides a bit of fretting for the cat, is that the woman must be a little ‘off’.  All turned out to be OK in the end.  The cat was happily rescued from the garbage can.  But, because the owners had put the footage up on-line, the cat-chucker had become instantly notorious.  Her identity was easy to discern through the footage (Mary Bale is her name) and the RSPCA is deciding whether or not to pursue any legal action.

Bale, who I think we can all agree has poor impulse control, used the excuse that she thought it would be funny.  I don’t think she ever considered for a moment that she’d have an audience of millions.

Quotes from The Daily Mail (sorry for the tabloid-rag of a source):

‘I cannot explain why I did this, it is completely out of character and I certainly did not intend to cause any distress to Lola or her owners.
‘It was a split second of misjudgment that has got completely out of control.

But she claimed the outcry had been blown out of all proportion: ‘I don’t know what the fuss is about. It’s just a cat.’

Miss Bale said she was just walking home on Saturday when she saw the cat and decided to play with it. But she told the Sun that she ‘suddenly thought it would be funny’ to put it in the bin.

‘I did it as a joke because I thought it would be funny. I never thought it would be trapped, I expected it to wriggle out,’ she said.

What sucks for this lady though, is that what she thought was a bit of mischief has resulted in death treats and world-wide disdain. (Though she’s not ingratiating herself to cat lovers anywhere by saying she doesn’t understand the fuss, anyone with half a brain should realize that she’s perhaps not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.)  Those who wish to do her harm should note, violence against people technically qualifies as animal abuse as well…

Inevitably, an ‘I hate Mary Bale’ Facebook has already sprung up and is ‘liked’ by over nine thousand users.  Of course, it only took minutes for some genius to call her ‘worse than Hitler’. Ugh…sometimes I hate the Internet soooo much.

The Internet’s worse than Hitler.

(See Godwin’s Law:  Godwin\’s Law)

Meanwhile, Lola’s owners, kind and reasonable, have implored people to refrain from going all angry villagers with pitchforks on her ass.  Thank God, some people have sense.

Would just like to put this all behind her...

Naturally, as with any internet meme, this event has been parodied to the hilt.  But, the person who I think has nailed it the best it whoever is the genius behind this twitter account, which finally brings us to our great thing of the day:

145.  CatBinLady’s Twitter Account

This twitter page is the perfect satire of the events.  It reads the situation perfectly without calling for the murder of a woman who acted like a bit of a plantpot.

I have no idea who is behind it.  Truly an unsung hero.  The bio just reads:

  • Bio I have momentary aberrations. We all do.

Also, CatBinLady is following Kanye West on Twitter.  Makes a sort of sense, unlike the woman herself.

Read the entries and enjoy for yourself how CatBinLady’s impulses repeatedly get her into trouble.  Do yourself a favor and start from her first tweet:  CatBinLady

***Update***The Author of CatBinLady comes forward!  Enjoy more comedy writing from him if you will!

Who is that masked man?

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Somewhere Over the Double Rainbow

I feel a bit behind the curve on today’s great thing.  (In fairness, being behind the curve in the age of the Internet means being about a second behind everyone else.)  My brother-in-law just forwarded this YouTube delight to me.  I knew NOTHING of it and since he emailed it to me, I’ve watched it countless times.  So, apologies if today’s great thing is old news to you (I believe the video made its net debut in January of this year).  But, hopefully, I’m acting as the herald of web-excellence here for at least a few of you.

141.  Double Rainbow Video

In this cynical age (of which I’m usually proud to be a part of), it’s good to know that all it takes for some people to have their heads exploded is two big gay old rainbows.  This video was filmed by a gent who goes by the handle “Hungry Bear”.  (His real name is Paul Vasquez).  What’s excellent about this is not necessarily the natural phenomenon of two rainbows, but the narrator’s breathless reaction.  He cries, he laughs, he has an absolute joy overload and, from the sounds of it, an existential crisis at the same time.  I love his unbridled enthusiasm.

Here’s the official clip:

But, as our video’s narrator questions, “What does it mean?”  I imagine it has something to do with moisture/light/and refracting or something.  Also, here are some definitions that Google came up with:

  • Double Rainbow is a brand of premium ice cream based in San Francisco, California. The company has franchises across the United States and also sells quart and half-gallon products through chains such as Trader Joe’s.
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Rainbow_(ice_cream)
  • Double Rainbow is Aya Matsuura’s sixth album (her fifth studio album), containing two of her previously released singles. It was released on October 10, 2007.
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Rainbow_(album)

For deeper sociological insight, here’s a rather excellent cultural reading/analysis of what the clip’s viral success means:  What does it mean?

And a CBS news report–cashing in on this meme.

I kinda don’t like the interviewer’s tone.  Come on, lady.  Don’t yuck Hungry Bear’s yum.  I rather like to think we’re laughing with him and not so much at him.  It sounds like he legitimately just wants to share cool nature videos.  Plus, then I don’t have to feel like a jaded douchebag.  Reportedly, he’s a cagefighter…so this is his way of trying to mellow this crazy world out.  You know, for every bone broken or face gouged, share a rainbow or a fawn grazing or something with the world.  She’s right about one thing though…there are already plenty of tee-shirt designs out there.  Here’s one of my faves:  Threadless

I’ve decided that anytime I use the word awesome, I’m going to replace it with ‘double rainbow’.  You may use it too if you want.

I wonder if this guy likes Skittles.  I would sort of like to send him two packs.  I think the opportunity to taste the double rainbows would flip his shit right out.

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Our President Could Beat Up Your President.

I can’t believe this weekend is almost over.  For serials, peeps.  It feels like last week was a week full of Mondays and that Saturday just whizzed right by.  I didn’t even feel it happen!  I think some levity and brevity is just what the doctor ordered.  So, let’s watch a funny cartoon, shall we?  It’s today’s great thing:

132.  Brad Neely’s George Washington Short

Now, what I’m about to show you actually doesn’t belong to Brad Neely anymore.  Apparently, he lost ownership of it.  He unknowingly sold the rights (for two hundred and fifty bucks) to Cox & Combes who were sponsors of a film festival it was entered in.  Some ‘fine print’ type misunderstanding.  Kinda sucks.  But, it’s still funny!  The video is  heavy on the hyperbolic patriotism and is mostly comprised of unsubstantiated claims…but similarities to Sarah Palin end there.  This is actually funny on purpose.  I love, love, love it.

I think my favorite illustration is the still of him throwing a buffalo.  Also, is it just me or do the vocals kind of sound like the lead singer from “Cake”.  You know, Washington is “Going The Distance” and all that.

Brad Neely

Though he’s been working on his comedy output for a while, Brad Neely is brand new to me.  Don’t you just love a discovery that’s already established?  It just means that I’ll have a bigger archive of material to distract myself at work with over the next couple of weeks.  Sorry clients.  You’ll be able to find me here:

Creased Comics

https://i0.wp.com/www.creasedcomics.com/archive/famouswerewolves.jpg

From Creased Comics

Reading up a bit on Brad Neely, I also discovered this ‘wish I had been there’ event:

Yet another reason to miss NYC

Yes, that’s right…he hosted a screening where he read his alternate script for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone over the actual film.  Naturally, Warner Bros. put an end to that fun pretty swiftly.  But, you can still download an Mp3 of his performance and host your own screening…which I plan on doing shortly.  Here’s the link for you, dear reader:  illegal-art.org

Karey, if you’re reading this, I’m inviting people over soon.  The guest list will likely be my nerdier friends as it is only nerdy hipsters that will truly appreciate the content.  (I always have to warn her when I’m planning anything social as she is primarily an ornery hermit.)

Further discussion of funny people talking over film soundtracks to be featured in upcoming MST3K and Kung Pow:  Enter the Fist blogs that I swear I will get around to someday.

Most of all, Brad Neely is now another addition to my list of people that I wish I could hang out with.  I mean, read this portion of  The Onion’s AV Club interview:

D: But as a kid, you’ve got to love the Ewoks.
BN: [The filmmakers] knew what they were doing. I slept on a bed of Ewoks when I was a kid. I would take a pillowcase and cut a hole out and wear it, and be an Ewok. I didn’t give a crap if Leia was going to have sex with Han Solo in the forest. I wanted to see that fucking teddy bear eat corn out of her hat.

Don’t you want to go to the movies with him?

You know how there’s that standard ‘get to know you’ type question of, ‘who would you invite to a dinner party if you could invite anyone in the world’?  That’s always been a difficult question to answer because I think that there’s a lot of cool people around.  So, I’m going to cheat a bit and narrow it down into categories.  Therefore, my answer to the question of ‘which three web-based humorists would you invite around for dinner’ would now be:   Brad Neely, Christian Lander (the author of Stuff White People Like), and Natalie Dee.  I’d serve tacos, sangria, and some sort of fruit pie.

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Natalie Squeeeee!

So, recently, I don’t even really remember where or how, I came across a Natalie Dee cartoon.  It was this:

http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/16c/5ec/16c5ec1a-3c9b-4840-8935-242692e32437

Where it all began.

Hilarious, yes! I love Mom jokes AND I love accusing everyone around me of being gay.  Especially Moms! Absolutely right up my ally when it comes to one-panelled humor strips.  Love it.  Of course, I was devastated to learn approximately two and a half minutes later that it was NOT on sale as a tee-shirt as I had previously believed.  But still, I loved it enough to go to the source–Natalie Dee’s website.  click here!

#108:  The cartoons of Natalie Dee

I’m tempted to use adjectives like ‘obsessed’ when I describe my feelings about Ms. Dee.   But apparently, Natalie Dee isn’t her real name and the reason that she doesn’t use her real name is because she doesn’t want to encourage stalkers/overly excitable types.   I can appreciate that.  So, I’ll try not to let loose too much here.  I’ll pull back a bit on the normal cyber-stalking that I engage in when prepping for  blogs.  Let’s just appreciate the output, shall we?   Here’s three samples from her archives.  All good.

https://i1.wp.com/www.nataliedee.com/021409/unthreatening-scorpion.jpg

It's a scorpion with a purse. She's going to town!

https://i0.wp.com/www.nataliedee.com/051304/dogginaround.jpg

I can relate directly to this one. I especially love the look of hopelessness on her face.

i got yer raisins right here

I actually did buy this on a tee-shirt.

Writing a one-panel strip is hard work, but Natalie Dee is a fricking champion.  Between the ‘i can relate to that’ feeling and the odd miscellany that she captures so perfectly in her simplistic drawings, I’ve been consistently entertained.  I can’t stress how much I love it when things are anthropomorphized.  It just works.

Also, I adore the noseless wide-mouthed faces and the little hands that look like q-tips.

Natalie is married to a humorist as well.  Her husband Drew writes excellent toons called “Toothpaste For Dinner” and “Superpoop”.  Natalie co-writes “Married To The Sea” with him as well.  You can reach ALL of their collective efforts through http://www.nataliedee.com For merch, click here:  the goods

The bad news in this one-way love affair?  I’m almost done scrolling through the Natalie Dee archives.  The good news is that when I’m done with the cartoons, there WILL be more (she updates daily) and she’s also got blog pages that I’ve barely read yet.  It’s a good, funny, personable blog.  The first entry details Natalie trying to cook an emu egg that she purchased at Whole Foods.  She also runs an advice column from time to time in those pages.

As someone who dreams of chucking in my day job of helping disabled students get support during University (it’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds) to sit around all day in my jammies thinking of funny things to say and occasionally watching daytime tv/playing video games, I really admire this woman.  She has made it work and is living the dream.  I found a good interview with Natalie at venuszine.com  (OK…so I did a little bit of e-stalking…)  Here’s some wise words for those of you out there who reach for that golden ring of creative fulfillment/working from your home as well:

“Making comics is just like taking a crap,” says Dee. “It’s necessary for my well-being, and it is sometimes enjoyable… When I make comics, I don’t analyze them afterwards, like, ‘Is this too dirty?’ or, ‘Is this too cutesy?’ or, ‘Is this too weird?’ or, ‘Is this too messed up?’. I don’t care what people think. I make comics to express myself. You don’t write in your diary with the thought of someone who might break into your bedroom and read it. That defeats the purpose.”

(Full article here:  Venuszine)

OK, that’s all the lovin’ I have time for.  But!…one more to part on:

smell like cereal and look like mountain dew

So true!

P.S. if you’re scrolling through the archives, be sure to pay attention ot the toon titles on the right hand side.  Some are just explanatory but others are pithy.  That’s right, I said pithy.

How come stuff like this isn’t in the newspaper funny pages anymore?

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The Littlest Slumlord

It’s been far too long since I’ve watched this clip.  I think a whole year has passed, as a matter of fact.  For a while there, it seemed I was watching it three times a day.  I made myself sick of it.  But, like a great song that wears out its welcome on the radio, you know that if you give it enough time, you’re going to enjoy blasting it again one day.

The time has come for me to appreciate today’s great thing anew:

96.  The Landlord on Funnyordie.com

Vodpod videos no longer available.


Yes, this was first hot in 2007, but I’m just back to love it some more.  Out of seemingly nowhere, I’ve started quoting lines from it again.   Mostly “You need to RELAX” and “I want my MONEEEEEYYYY!“.

I think Adam McKay is my preferred comedy partner for Will Ferrell.  (He’s the other guy in this sketch–also that’s his daughter, Pearl.)  I base this on the fact that he’s also responsible for two of my faves (and everybody’s really)–Anchorman:  The Legend of Ron Burgundy and the pants-peeingly funny Step Brothers.

Whilst Ferrell is on top form in this sketch, the real star is of course, foul-mouthed little Pearl.

https://i2.wp.com/img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2007/features/theysaid/071231/pearl.jpg

The Princess Dress is the hiliarious icing on the cake...

You might wonder if Pearl’s parents were concerned about her spouting such vitriol at Ferrell.  Your answer is here from Wired magazine:

In the meantime, we asked McKay if he had any reservations about teaching his daughter the B word, which young Pearl hurls at Ferrell during the course of her tirade.

“I didn’t because Pearl’s at this phase where she repeats things but doesn’t remember them unless she says it like 20 times,” McKay says. “She’ll say anything and it goe away pretty quickly, so I felt pretty safe with it. Also, she has no context for what it means. She didn’t even know she was on camera. And, the word ‘bitch’ – – you can say it on television. I would never use the F word or any of that. It felt pretty playful and I knew Pearl wouldn’t remember, and sure enough she’s never said it since.

After The Landlord, Pearl went on to film Good Cop, Baby Cop which is also available on funny or die.  Naturally, that short was also a smash.  But, that’s all we’re going to get out of Pearl’s acting career for now.  TMZ offered the following quotes regarding her retirement:

“My ventures as an actor on the Internet have been rewarding and spiritually fulfilling, but now I must look to broader challenges as I approach my 26th month,” says Pearl. “I shall always reflect upon these days with much fondness, and also, I have no idea what I just said, and I want banana-nana and the upside down show.”

“Retirement has been really good,” Pearl told us in between naps. “I played golf with Charles Barkley and Dan Marino the other day.”

As to her upcoming schedule, Pearl revealed, “I got offered a job at a casino as a greeter. But mainly I’m spending time with my family, spilling juice and putting things in my mouth that I find on the floor.”

It’s creepy to google too much about Pearl, so I’ll just leave her alone now.

Let’s close with one of my favorite scenes from McKay and Ferrell’s Step Brothers.  If you haven’t seen it yet, please do–with a group of friends.  (Comedy is most effective when viewed with the masses.)  Even my easily annoyed girlfriend loved it.

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Success!

It was only really thanks to The Onion‘s A.V Club section that I caught wind of today’s great thing.  The writers run a reader Q and A feature and the question of the week was something akin to “what’s your favorite time-wasting website” and one of the writers mentioned failblog (as well as an almost as good site called pictureisunrelated.com).  I can’t believe I’ve only JUST found out about it.  I’ve been a loyal patron of such LOL sites as icanhascheezburger.com and ihasahotdog.com for quite a while and there’s a link to it right on those sites.  (They’re owned by the same peeps–The Cheezburger Network of websites).

94.  Failblog.org

It’s not too difficult to explain.  It’s basically the “America’s Funniest Home Videos” or “You’ve Been Framed” of blogs.  It’s a collection of pics–largely reader contributed–that capture either a moment of clutziness or stupidity or a complete lack of self awareness.  There’s about a half dozen George Bush pics in there.  On the odd occasion, there’s a video clip.

It’s pure genius and to get you started, I’m posting a few tasters here so you get the gist.  Then…you must click the link.  There’s almost three hundred pages of gaffes already to enjoy.  failblog

I especially love the animal-related  fail pics.

failtoycat.jpg

dogjumpfail.jpg

tennisdoublesfail.jpg

You’ll never work a full eight hours again.   You’re welcome.

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The Old Man and the Fleabag

Recently, I received a worthy forward.  It was a video compilation of reporters eating it.  It’s very funny…though for a few of these clips, I was left a bit anxious…wondering if the reporter featured was actually physically alright afterwards.  Have a look and try not to cringe too much.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

There are a few clips that really get me on that reel.  I love the inappropriate “Ohio State!” lady.  I love the angry woman that wallops the reporter with her purse and challenges him to “put that on the news!”.  But, most of all, I love that blustery old codger trying to shoo away that dog.

92.  Bert Case’s Dog Shoo

I obsessed over this clip for a good week at my day job–watching it sometimes five times in a row.  It stuck in my head so much that I was even driven to learn more of how/why/and where this incident occurred.  Here’s an extended version of the incident in question.  It answered some of my questions.  The dog shouter-er in question is Bert Case of Jacksonville MS:

It gets me every time.  This guy does exactly what you’re not supposed to do when confronted with a snarling dog.  He’s so grumpy old-cootish, I love it!  I keep waiting for him to sputter ‘get outta here you pesky varmint!  Dagnabbit!” and let off some six shooters.  I’ve memorized his choreography and now bust it out sometimes at work in random scenarios–like if someone comes to my desk with post for me.  Admittedly, it’s pretty obnoxious to do something like that if the person doesn’t get the reference but…feh…I just can’t help myself.

The triumphant “You go!” at the end is a cherry on top of this man vs dog sundae.  Watch him look over to the camera man at that point for his/or her approval.  Bert, you are a viking among newsmen.

I’m also just plain smitten by that dog.  Look how full of glee it is at it nips at the old man’s heels.  Life is a game.  This dog relishes misbehaving.   It reminds me of any attempt to try and discipline my sister’s dog.

The Brown in question...

The Brown in question...

Brown would do something awful, like take a poo in the middle of the room and you’d use your sternest voice to say ‘Bad dog.  Bad.  No!’ and Brown would just put her fuzzy face into happy dog smile and bow right into play pose and dart around the room as if your tirade were an invitation to play some stupid dog game.  Incredibly frustrating from a training point of view, but also hilarious.  Hey, she’s not my dog even if I did help pick her out.

Anyway, I thought it only fair that if Bert Case, the reporter in this clip, gets a profile on a website, the dog should also get equal representation.  After all, a dramatic scene requires two players and this dog should get credit where it’s due.  So, I wrote one for him.

Here’s Bert’s first.  If you click on this link you’ll see a nice snap of him and learn that he’s an experienced field reporter, anchor, and news director for WLBT 3 out of Jackson, Mississippi.  :

Bert Case

And now, for the real star of the scene:

https://i0.wp.com/1.bp.blogspot.com/_VFdHfHAUYLQ/RrDU4Hs6u1I/AAAAAAAAATQ/teVdVGzCcAA/s400/Pippin+2.jpg

Ruggles Age 5

Ruggles

Ruggles, 5, has been a resident of Jackson, Mississippi for three years–previously occupying a dog house in a backyard in nearby Biloxi.   For three years running, he has been celebrated locally for treeing the most neighborhood cats–11 per week at last count.

Ruggles has built a solid reputation for independence and bravery.  This can be seen in his daily actions wether it be courageously and brazenly  whizzing on Mr. Atkinson’s prize begonias or for not coming when he’s called.

Ruggles has earned the wary respect of local residents for successfully chasing away more delivery men than any other neighborhood dog–ensuring that nobody gets packages or pizzas in a timely manner.  Since taking residence in the area, Ruggles has made it his priority to be more brown and stripey and barky than any dog in the immediate vicinity.

To email Ruggles, leave comments here.

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